


Dreaming of a Home

by Alexwritesfics



Series: Dreaming of a Home [4]
Category: Downton Abbey
Genre: Kid Fic, M/M, Pregnancy, Romance, Surrogate!Daisy, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, modern!AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-30
Updated: 2015-09-30
Packaged: 2018-04-24 04:51:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4906201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alexwritesfics/pseuds/Alexwritesfics
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thomas and Andy set out to start a family of their own.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dreaming of a Home

**Author's Note:**

> ...I wrote this a while back so the dialogue/descriptions may be a teensy bit clunky, but overall I'm pretty pleased with how it turned out. Anyway, enjoy the sickening sweetness. It's funny because I consider myself to be quite cynical but when it comes to fics, I am just all about the cute for some unexplained reason x

She’s beautiful, Eddie…’ Andy said, looking at the baby in Dorothy’s arms with wonder.

‘Thanks, Andy,’ Eddie said with a surprisingly watery smile - the man had been in tears ever since they’d allowed him to hold his daughter for the first time. He kissed the top of Dorothy’s wavy-haired head almost reverently, unable to take his eyes off “Baby” Parker.

‘What are you going to name her?’ Andy asked, squeezing Thomas’ hand gently with his own. After saying his greetings and congratulations, Thomas had gone curiously silent. Andy made a mental note to check in with his husband later on in the proceedings.

‘We don’t know yet,’ Dorothy said with an exhausted smile, her dreamy voice even more so due to fatigue. She’d slept for a while before they’d let visitors in to see her, but it would still take her a little time to recover. ‘We have a couple of ideas though, don’t we, Eddie?’

Eddie nodded, gazing over at his and Andy’s parents who were currently beaming with pride. ‘Yep. We’ll decide when we’re not so tired… And listen, thanks for getting here so quickly on such short notice. She gets to see her grandparents, her Uncle Andy, her Uncle Thomas…’ Andy felt Thomas squeeze his hand when their names were called, and the younger man smiled. He knew that being an uncle meant a lot to Thomas.

The occasion was one of happiness and a great deal of excitement, but a strange sort of momentary peace had enveloped the hospital room. It was quiet, calm and content. The baby made a soft cooing noise that would’ve made the stoniest of hearts melt, and Andy felt Thomas squeeze his hand almost painfully. Andy looked back quickly at his boyfriend, who was standing behind him, glasses beginning to fog up a little.

'…Thomas?’ Andy asked quietly, knowing that people were turning to look at the dark-haired man in question but trying not to make a big deal of it.

Thomas shook his head slightly, pointedly looking down at the blue-tiled floor. ‘It’s just a little hot in here, ahah… Don’t worry about it.’ The clockmaker took off his glasses, face flushed, hands shaking a little as he cleaned them with the hem of his plaid shirt.

'Want to hold her, Andy?’ Dorothy asked, and Andy felt a rush of both anticipation and fear. He didn’t have much experience with babies - suppose he dropped his delicate little niece? She looked so tiny and fragile…

Andy nodded, biting his lip a little. ‘Y-Yeah, sure…’

'Don’t worry, Andy. I’m new to this too, but you get the hang of it pretty quickly. I’ll show you how,’ Eddie said, laughing as Dorothy passed their daughter over. Eddie kissed the baby’s forehead, cradling her in his arms for a moment before carefully walking the short distance to his younger brother.

Andy immediately felt the strong arms of his husband encircle him, helping him rearrange his hands so that when Baby Parker arrived, Andy was ready to support her properly. Thomas certainly seemed to know more about this than Andy himself did, Andy noted with a smile of surprise.

'She’s lovely,’ Thomas breathed, clearly looking at the baby from over Andy’s shoulder. Andy could do nothing but nod, utterly taken aback by the sleepy blue eyes staring up at him. Thomas was right. The baby was adorable, with wisps of dark wavy hair sitting pretty on her scalp - a Parker family trait - and a button nose.

The couple stood like that for an indeterminable moment, holding their precious baby niece in their arms, before they heard an electronic click.

Andy looked up quickly to see the rest of the family smiling, amusement and affection in their eyes as Eddie held his cameraphone out. ‘Sorry, you two,’ Dorothy said, laughing quietly. ‘You just looked so natural with her.’

'Yeah, Andy. We can’t have you and your husband slipping her into your coat on the way out,’ Eddie said mock-seriously.

'You’re so sweet with her…!’ Dorothy continued, giving Eddie a tiny playful shove. 'I want her to look at this picture later on in life, I want her to know how much her uncles loved her right away.’

Andy blushed, and he was sure that Thomas was doing the same but doing a better job of hiding it. ‘Bit of warning would be nice next time, Eddie…’ he said, laughing a little.

Eddie gave that winning smile that usually caused everything to be forgiven, looking over at his and Andy’s parents, who were now dozing in the two visitors chairs. ‘I think everyone’s getting pretty tired again…’ Eddie said.

'…Say no more,’ Andy replied, smiling and carefully walking over to the bed. 'Me and Thomas’ll head back home. We'll see you soon, hopefully. Here’s your baby back.’

'Thomas looks like he doesn’t want you to give our baby back,’ Eddie said with a smile. 'Watch out - I think he might want to have your babies, Andy…!’

Thomas rolled his eyes. ‘I think you might be imagining things, Eddie.’

'Sure, sure, whatever…’ Eddie said teasingly.

Thomas rolled his eyes a second time as Andy carefully gave the baby back to her mother, walking back over to his husband and linking arms with him. ‘Goodbye, everyone,’ Andy said, giving a little wave.

'And congratulations again,’ Thomas added. 'She’s a lovely little girl… You must be so proud.’

~*~

The couple took their leave, walking in silence, arms still linked. It was only as they got to the automatic doors of the hospital’s exit and Thomas was wrapping his red scarf around himself that Andy stopped in his tracks, causing Thomas to do the same.

'Thomas…’ Andy began, forcing himself to meet Thomas’ eyes. 'Do you? I mean… D-Do you want to have-’

Thomas shook his head vigorously, avoiding Andy’s gaze as he began to walk out. ‘Don’t do that to yourself, it was just a silly joke that Eddie made up. You know how he is, it doesn’t mean anything,’ the older man said quickly as Andy caught up with him.

'Thomas!’ Andy said, breath coming out as spirals of steam in the cool night air. He grabbed his husband’s hand quickly, forcing Thomas into another standstill. 'We should be able to talk about this…’ Andy said. 'Don’t lie. I’m not gonna freak out.’

Thomas licked his lips slowly, clearly in deep thought. After a while, he closed his eyes and said: ‘…I-It’s something I’ve thought about as I’ve got older. But… We’ve got married. That’s already a big commitment, when you think about it. I mean, yeah, I love it, I love being married to you and it makes sense for us, but it was still a big thing. And we haven’t even been married for very long. I don’t want to move forward too fast. But like I said… I’ve been thinking about it more and more.’

'…Well, yeah, m-me too,’ Andy said, the wind hurting his ears a little but not enough for him to stop the conversation to move to a different location.

'You’re younger than me… Don’t you want to focus on your career first?’

'I _am_ focusing on it, you know that. But sometimes some things in life are a little more important, y'know? We’ve been saving… We’ve already had a lot of holidays where it’s just us…’ Andy took Thomas’ hands in his own as he continued. 'I’m not saying it has to be right now, but-’

'…You want children?’ Thomas said in a small voice that made Andy’s heart beat a little faster in his chest.

'Yeah… You know me, I’ve always wanted to settle down-’

Thomas pressed his lips to Andy’s, the younger man smiling into the kiss, wincing when they pulled back as he felt something cold settle at the nape of his neck. ‘…Is it raining?’ Andy murmured.

'It’s snowing a little,’ Thomas said, brushing the hair out of the younger man’s eyes.

Andy kissed Thomas softly on the lips once more, before stepping away and taking hold of Thomas’ hand just like he’d done in Dorothy’s hospital room. ‘Let’s go home… We’ve got to rest up for tomorrow.’

'Yeah, I’ve got that commission to work on in the morning,’ Thomas said with a rueful smile as the couple walked to the car hand-in-hand. 'I’m thankful for the new business that came in after you re-designed my website, but it makes finding a quiet minute to myself of an afternoon a hassle.’

'Yeah, and then tea with the family afterwards to celebrate the new baby. And your last website design was awful, let’s face facts,’ Andy said, laughing as his husband gave him a playful shove. 'The colours and logo were all wrong and you knew it. You’re lucky - I didn’t even charge you, did I…?’

'No, you didn’t. You’re really a _wonderful_ man,’ Thomas said mock-seriously.

'Hey! I _am_ "a wonderful man"!’

Thomas smiled as he unlocked the car. ‘…The best man.’

'…I think you’ll find that’s Eddie.’

'Now who’s being facetious?’ Thomas said as they got into the car. Andy leaned against Thomas in the darkness, both of them content to watch the flurry of snow gently cover the hospital buildings in a delicate blanket of white.

Andy wanted to ask Thomas what he was thinking, but it was so peaceful, so quiet, just like the hospital room had been, and he didn’t want to interrupt the older man’s train of thought. The way Thomas was biting his lip meant that he was thinking something over seriously. Andy felt Thomas’ hand find his and Andy clasped it tightly, slowly bringing it to his own chest, as if debating whether to ever let it go again. The younger man felt the smooth metal of Thomas’ wedding band settle against his skin.

It felt like their hearts were beating in time with each others' as they both considered what might be.

~*~

The subject didn’t come up again until two weeks after Eddie and Dorothy’s daughter, Sarah, had been born.

Andy left a shaky trail of kisses down Thomas’ neck as they both came down from their high, Andy trembling with the effort of holding himself above Thomas before rolling over and collapsing next to the clockmaker.

Thomas was still letting out little gasping breaths, absentmindedly tracing his pale, elegant fingers across Andy’s bare chest, when Andy murmured: ‘I think we should.’

He didn’t know what had made him say it, but as soon as the words were out of his mouth, he was absolutely certain. He was simply facing facts - he loved this man, this witty, passionate, wonderful human being. There was no-one else Andy wanted to spend the rest of his life with, and no-one else he'd rather raise children with.

Thomas leaned up a little on his shoulders to look at his husband, confusion in his eyes. ‘…What do you mean, Andy?’

'I want to… I…’ Andy hesitated, before continuing in a somewhat firmer tone. 'I want kids, Thomas.’

Thomas swallowed nervously, seemingly speechless, before saying: ‘…You want to have children? With me?’

'No, with Scarlett Johansson. Of course with you…!’ Andy said, drawing a smile from his husband. 'I’ve been thinking about it… I’ve been thinking about what it could be like to have a kid that’s ours.’

There was pause, Thomas lying back to wrap his arms around the younger man, kissing him softly on the mouth. ‘We’ve got forever to do this…’ The clockmaker said.

'Please don’t lie to me,’ Andy said softly. '…I know you really want to be a father. I’ve always sort of guessed, a-and then I saw you with Eddie and Dorothy’s baby, and - you looked so happy. We could happy like that. Who the hell says we can’t be just as happy…?’

'You don’t have to do this to make me happy, I-I’m happy just being with you-’ Thomas said.

’-I want them too,’ Andy said vehemently, resting his head on Thomas’ chest. 'I want to have children with you.’

Andy felt Thomas’ fingers running through his curls. The younger man closed his eyes at the sensation, seeing bright bursts of colour dance behind his eyelids. They could paint the study yellow, maybe… They could paint a border of ducks along the wall. There would be a box of toys, the baby’s name spelt on the door with foam.

And there would be a crib.

The thought of Thomas as a father hadn’t really hit him until very recently, and it made Andy’s chest squeeze tightly and a lump form in his throat. He had the distinct feeling that Thomas would be a wonderful dad.

'Andy, Andy, look at me,’ Thomas said, pulling Andy from his brief spell of dreaming. Andy sighed shakily, muscles aching a little from their earlier activities as he sat up in bed, Thomas doing the same. Thomas rested his forehead against Andy’s, something potent and frustratingly unreadable in the clockmaker’s eyes. 'Are you saying you want to have children now?’ Thomas murmured.

'Yeah. I do,’ Andy breathed, resting his hands either side of his husband’s face. 'I-I’m scared, but I think we’re ready to give it a try. I know it’s not gonna be easy, but I really think we should do it.’

Thomas nodded a little, closing his eyes. ‘You make me so happy.’

'You tell me that all the time…’

'…Doesn’t make it any less true. I didn’t think I could have any of this.’

'We’re gonna have kids.’

Thomas smiled, the action gentle and free of burden. ‘Yeah. Yeah, we are.’

'We’re gonna be dads-’ Andy laughed in surprise as he was cut off by Thomas reaching over to pull him into a rib-crushing hug.

~*~

E i g h t m o n t h s l a t e r

~*~

Sarah Parker sighed a little in her sleep, Eddie gently rocking her from her place in his arms. ‘Great weather for it,’ Eddie noted, smiling at his younger brother.

Andy nodded, relishing the taste of sweet lemonade on his tongue as he watched Thomas help Daisy to her seat. Her stomach was rounder that it had been six months ago when the baby had first began to grow, and her complexion seemed to have a certain kind of glow added to it. This was her baby shower - something that Andy and Thomas usually wouldn’t have done, but there was a third party to consider now. “Auntie Daisy” wanted to make some memories both before and after the birth, and the couple were only too happy to oblige.

'I’m not that far gone, Thomas!’ she said, laughing a little as Thomas straightened up. 'I can still get out and about pretty well.’

Thomas nodded. ‘Sorry… I know it differs for some people.’

'Well, it _does_ feel like I’m getting bigger by the day,’ Daisy said. ‘I think the little one’s going to be big. Get us some lemonade, would you?’

Thomas smiled and nodded, turning to leave her for the time being. ‘Of course.’

Andy and Thomas were immensely grateful that Daisy had wanted to be their surrogate - it hadn’t taken too much trouble for the baby to take root but it had been a tense and nervous time nevertheless. They knew that there were alternative avenues to explore in terms of having children but as soon as Daisy announced she was pregnant, the couple had breathed a collective sigh of relief.

Thomas brushed past a sitting Andy on his way to get lemonade, stopping for a moment to say hello. ‘I think today’s going well,’ the clockmaker said. ‘How are things with Sarah, Eddie?’

'I think we’re past most of the sleepless nights,’ Eddie said with a rueful smile. 'Late-night feeds put a strain on both of us, especially Dorothy. But we’re getting there. Anyway, soon it’ll be your turn!’

Andy winced, but chuckled at the thought. ‘We’ll be fine, won’t we, Thomas?’ he declared, squeezing the older man’s hand. Thomas nodded in agreement, adjusting his glasses with his unoccupied hand.

'It’s hard work,’ Eddie replied. 'But totally worth it… Me and Dorothy can’t imagine life without Sarah anymore. And they grow so quickly! Sarah’s already grown so big.’

'She has, hasn’t she?’ Thomas said, leaning down to kiss Andy’s cheek. 'I guess it goes to show we’ve got to cherish the moments when they’re small…’ He smiled again before going off in search of more lemonade.

'So… Did you go to the doctor?’ Eddie asked. 'Y'know, to get pregnant? If you don’t mind me asking…’

'No, from home,’ Andy said. 'We don’t know what genes the baby has except for Daisy’s. Me and Thomas don’t really care. It’s a fifty-fifty thing. We just know it’s ours.’

'Well, there’s a fifty percent chance it’s yours. You’d better warn Thomas just in case - you were a fussy baby,’ Eddie teased. 'Crying 'til six in the morning, that’s what I remember!’

Andy rolled his eyes, trying to hold back a smile as he took another sip of his lemonade. ‘Yeah, whatever… You’re not that much older than me, I bet mom just told you that. Besides, it doesn’t mean our baby’ll be fussy.’ _Our baby._ The more he and Thomas said it, the more it became wonderfully, terrifyingly real.

'So, what about baby names?’ Eddie asked eagerly.

'Well, we’re not sure yet. And Daisy’s helping out with it as well,’ Andy said, waving over at the woman in question, who lifted up her own glass of lemonade and waved back. 'We decided that we should all have a bit of a say. She wants to be involved, and we’re really glad she does. I didn’t know her that well until after wedding, but we all get on pretty well now. She lives close, so the baby will sort of grow up with her. And I love the fact that me and Thomas can have a baby together, but I still think it’s important the baby has some female influence.’

'You’ve got this all pretty planned out,’ Eddie said. 'And don't you worry about female influence. I'm sure Sarah will want to come 'round and play all the time when the baby's born. But the real question is... Do you feel ready to take care of one of these?’ He looked down at Sarah, unconditional love in his eyes, but also a curious sort of worry - Eddie could never stop being a father, not when he had Sarah to provide for. Being a parent was a full-time occupation.

And it was a fair question - Andy didn’t have that much experience, which was why he’d been trying to read up on everything in time for the birth, and they were slowly but surely making their way through the essentials list Thomas had drawn up.

Thomas was good at keeping Andy organised, whether it was helping him find his tie in the morning in time for work or making sure he didn’t drink too much at parties (Andy was a well-known “lightweight”). But Thomas often weighed himself down with his own intricate thought processes, talking himself out of situations, tending to focus on the negative, which was a common survival tactic he’d employed in the past to keep himself safe. Thomas and Andy kept each other grounded.

Would a child disrupt the balance?

Andy looked over to see Thomas, Daisy and their friend Anna talking and laughing, all of them warm and content in the afternoon sun. Thomas said something to Daisy, causing the expecting woman to nod. With her consent, Thomas put both hands on Daisy’s baby bump, eyes filled with wonder, Daisy grinning at the clockmaker’s reaction. Andy felt his heart flutter. For a moment, Thomas and Daisy looked like a couple, but then Thomas looked over at his husband with that same wonder in his eyes and Andy knew it was a moment for both of them.

They were going to be fathers, and it wouldn’t be perfect, but it would be beautiful.

~*~

T w o m o n t h s l a t e r

~*~

'How are you boys getting on in here?’ Daisy said, waddling rather than walking into the unfinished room that was fast becoming an adequate nursery.

Andy tried not to laugh from his place underneath Thomas on the floor, the older man pinning him down and painting his husband’s face yellow. ‘We’re doing alright…’ Andy replied.

'What’s going on?’ Daisy asked with amusement in her eyes. 'Having a bit of a lover’s tiff?’

'I think you’ll find that _I_ won that round,’ Thomas announced triumphantly, getting up from the floor and brushing himself off.

'I was already kneeling on the floor painting the border, you had the upper hand!’ Andy protested, but he broke off into a laugh.

'Oh, it looks so pretty,’ Daisy said softly. 'It’ll be lovely when it’s finished. Who painted the ducks?’

'Andy did them,’ Thomas said, running an appreciative hand through Andy’s curls. 'His talents extend to website design, intricate abstract art and the cutest little ducklings.’

Andy rolled his eyes as his curls fell out of place, blowing some of them out of his field of vision. ‘…I think it turned out great in here, to be honest. I really wanted the yellow right from the start.’

'I thought a sky-blue would be nice, but I love the yellow now,’ Thomas said. 'It’s really brightened up the place. It's… Homely.’

'Hmm, you know how much I love blue. We could paint the kitchen blue when we finally get 'round to doing it up,’ Andy suggested.

'Maybe I can help you with that next time around,’ Daisy said with a small sigh, gesturing to her large baby bump. 'I can barely lean down to pick up things anymore, let alone get down on my knees to paint stuff properly. And my back gets so sore even when I try to take it easy…’

Thomas gained a thoughtful look on his face, picking up a small paintbrush and tin of glossy black paint. ‘Well, we’ve already filled in the yellow,’ he said. ‘Would you like to draw a couple of bees for the time being?’

'Oh, that would look so nice!’ Daisy exclaimed. '…But what if I mess it up?’

'You won’t mess it up,’ Andy said. 'We still need to finish the borders, so you can do some bees in the corner near the crib if you like, that way the baby gets to look at them each night.’

Daisy smiled, tentatively dipping the tip of the paintbrush into the offered paint tin. ‘It’s all moving so fast… This used to be an office. Now it’s a nursery!’

Thomas smiled back, holding up the tin a little higher for their friend as Andy returned to painting the borders. ‘It’s been a strange few months. It feels like a dream, like it’s not actually happening to us. I can’t wait for when the baby arrives, though.' Thomas looked at Andy with the beginnings of another smile playing on his lips. 'I'm sure it'll feel more real, then.’

'You two’ll be such good dads,’ Daisy said as she began to draw the wings of a bee. '…Y'know, I’ve said it before, but I’m really glad I could do this for you.’ Thomas nodded his thanks and went back to his painting. They were on a schedule, after all. Time would wait for no man, and neither would a baby on its way into the world.

'We’ll never forget this, Daisy,’ Andy said, feeling another rush of gratitude for the woman to the left of him. 'You don’t know how much this means to us.’

'Honestly, pregnancy can be such a hassle sometimes, but it’s so worth it. I can’t wait to finally meet Baby Parker-Barr- _Oh!_ ’ Her sentence cut off as she dropped her paintbrush back into the paint tin.

'-What is it?’ Thomas said, looking up quickly with panic in his eyes.

'N-Nothing, it’s a false alarm… The baby’s kicking again,’ Daisy said. 'I don’t think I’ll ever get used to the feeling…’

Thomas carefully set down the paint tin, eyes fixed on Daisy’s baby bump as he straightened up.’C-Can I-?’

’-‘Course you can!’ Daisy said with a small giggle as Thomas gently placed his hands on her stomach.

Andy couldn’t get used to the feeling either - new life beneath his fingers, kicking and squirming and shifting, almost ready to join their world for good. Sometimes he doubted himself, but in those quiet moments when Thomas was feeling the baby move, eyes shining with hope, Andy could lay such thoughts to rest. A lot of people read Thomas as cold and unfeeling, but Andy knew he could be like that because he’d had to be at various points in his life. But Andy and Daisy knew him and loved him, and in turn, the clockmaker had let down his guard with them.

Andy knew he’d love the baby very much- he already did and he hadn’t even held them in his arms yet - but the whole thing had made him love Thomas even more. They both wanted a baby so much. And Daisy, dear, sweet Daisy was giving them their chance.

Daisy made a “come hither” gesture with her fingers. ‘C’mon, Andy, you’re missing it!’ she said, excitement in her voice. Andy nodded, scrambling to get to his feet.

'…It’s amazing, Andy,’ Thomas said. 'It gets stronger every time.’

Andy grinned as he placed both of his hands on the baby bump, greeting the feeling of gentle kicks like an old friend. His splayed left hand overlapped with Thomas’ gloved one, and Andy looked over at the older man, watching his husband react to each tiny movement their child made.

Thomas had yellow paint on his chin and nose, glasses discarded for the time being. His hair was out place and a little shaggy, and he was growing a beard once again. Andy always thought that a beard made Thomas look delightfully rugged, but today it seemed to soften his face. He looked younger today, a little more vulnerable. He was quite simply beautiful.

The younger man caught Thomas’ eye and leaned in to kiss him, their lips sealing like a promise.

Life was sweet.

They heard an awkward, amused cough coming from Daisy and they pulled apart quickly, stepping back when they realised that the kicking had stopped for the time being.

'Honestly…!’ Daisy said, rolling her eyes. 'You two are so easily distracted by each other. And I think we have a problem… I got a little shocked when Baby started kicking and I, er, I left a bit of a black smudge on the wall over here.’

'Doesn’t matter. We’ll soon fix that. I’ll get the yellow paint,’ Thomas said, turning away to fetch the tin in question.

'No, wait-’ Andy said, picking up the black paint brush and drawing several other dots. Eventually, it looked like the black dots were actually the bee’s flight path. 'I-I know its a bit cliched, but-’

’-I think it’s quite sweet,’ Thomas declared, and Daisy smiled and nodded in agreement. 'Now, I’m going to put the kettle on for us. You can sit down and rest your legs, Daisy. And I think Andy and I have earned a bit of break, as well.’

~*~

O n e m o n t h l a t e r

~*~

'We’re gonna be late, we’re gonna be late…’ Andy said underneath his breath, jiggling his leg from nerves as he watched Thomas’ knuckles turn white from gripping onto the steering wheel so tightly.

'That’s not going to help anything, Andrew…’ Thomas said, irritably pushing his glasses further up his nose.

'Well, can ya blame me for being a little bloody frustrated? We’re missing the birth of our first child!’

'We don’t know that,’ Thomas said quietly. 'Labour can take a long time… Oh, will you just fucking hurry up!’ he hissed, clearly resisting the urge to press the horn. 'Where did all of this bloody traffic come from? We’ve been doing test runs for ages, I thought we had this in the bag…’

'I don’t want to miss it,’ Andy said vehemently, shivering a little as it hit him that today, he was going to be a father, not just to a baby bump but to an actual child. He felt his heart begin to race in his chest as he struggled to keep his breathing under control. He knew labour was a natural process but he also knew that many things had the potential to go disastrously wrong. What if something happened to the baby? What if something happened to Daisy?

'Hey,’ Thomas said quietly, 'don’t do that.’ His bare hand reached over to grip Andy’s, thumb rubbing soothing circles on Andy’s skin. 'We’ll all be okay,’ Thomas reassured his husband. 'We’ve done everything we can to make sure things go well.’

'Usually you’re the one overthinking things,’ Andy said, laughing nervously. 'It makes a strange change.’

'W-Well, no-one can expect you to be the calm one all the time, Andy,’ Thomas said. 'Ah, wh-who am I kidding, I’m not calm either…’

Andy squeezed his hand. ‘We’re both a bit of a wreck, huh?’

'Yeah. Y-Yeah, but we’ll be alright. We have each other.’

'…We should be happy, right?’ Andy said. 'Baby Parker-Barrow’s finally ready to say hello.’

'…I love you so much, Andy.’

'I love you, too.’

~*~

'Okay, Thomas, you can stop saying thank-you now,’ Daisy murmured with a weak laugh, fringe sticking to to her forehead with sweat as she lay back on the hospital bed. Andy had his arms around the older man, the couple looking down with wonder at David Robin Parker-Barrow, or “Davey,” as Daisy kept calling him affectionately.

Thomas had been saying “thank-you” underneath his breath for about five minutes now. Andy had to scrub as his own eyes again, tears having begun to fall when Davey’s little hand had closed around Thomas’ thumb. Their baby was tiny, and he was perfect.

Davey’s middle name was to represent Daisy’s surname, Robinson, which had made Daisy’s face light up with joy. The couple had finally turned up around half-way through the labour, which had taken seven hours in total. Daisy looked exhausted, but she had propped herself up nevertheless after her nap, as if she didn’t want to miss a moment of what she was seeing.

'He’s beautiful,’ Andy breathed, resting his head on Thomas’ shoulder.

'Our beautiful little boy,’ Thomas replied, voice wavering. Davey’s eyes were now wide and inquisitive after his first cry, tears having been wiped away by Andy with shaking fingers. The baby had wisps of dark hair, less than Sarah when she was born, but they were there all the same.

Andy kissed Thomas tenderly on the cheek, overcome with emotion, feeling love fill up in his chest and threaten to overflow, love for his husband, love for the woman who had carried his child with utmost care for nine months and eight days, love for the beautiful baby staring up at him.

It felt like all Andy could do now was look and love, at the mercy of a love so strong that it terrified him. But it was worth it. He would hold onto this with everything he had, and he finally realised what it was to have a family of his own.

He thought of Thomas, who’d mentioned before the wedding that he didn’t really feel like he had a family, and hugged his husband tight, as tight has he could without disturbing the baby too much.

Andy felt like his knees were going to give way when Thomas pulled away from Andy’s embrace and passed the baby to the younger man. Practice with Sarah had somewhat prepared Andy for moments like these, but every time Davey was handed to him it felt like the first time all over again.

'You take good care of that boy…’ Daisy said, seeming on the brink of sleep again.’

Thomas ducked his head a little, ‘Yes, Milady,’ he said with a small smile. It wasn’t like Thomas to joke at such a serious time, but Andy guessed that Thomas was feeling like Andy just then, lightheaded, not in complete control of his body. Andy cuddled Davey close to his chest, breathing in the scent of him, feeling both relief and excitement for the future wash over him. They would be taking Davey home eventually - back to the calm peace of the nursery with ducks and bees on the walls. 

'I’m going to sleep again…’ Daisy said. '…I ache all over.’ Thomas reached out and gently clasped her hand, Daisy smiling weakly at the gesture. 'You…’ she paused, yawning. '…You take care of Davey…’

'Always,’ Thomas murmured.

Andy smiled, shushing Davey quietly when he heard the beginnings of a cry coming from the child. He rocked the baby gently, watching Davey’s eyelids slowly shut. Daisy seemed to be sleeping again as well, lying on her side.

'It’s amazing,’ Thomas said quietly, careful not to disturb Daisy as he made his way back over to his husband and child.

'Yeah,’ Andy said with a small, tired smile. 'It really is.’

There was a natural, quiet pause before Andy spoke up again. 'I bet Eddie’ll brag that Sarah weighed more than Davey,’ Andy said, feeling his heart flutter whenever he said his baby’s name.

'Yeah, seems like something he’d do,’ Thomas said, leaning down to kiss the top of Davey’s head. 'I don’t care, Davey’s lovely.’

'The prettiest baby,’ Andy said. 'Not that I’ve seen every baby in the world, mind.’

'I don’t know, Andy… You were a pretty cute baby,’ Thomas teased.

Andy’s eyes widened. ‘…Mom showed you my baby pictures?’

Thomas grinned wickedly. ‘That one with your potty on your head, that one’s a classic-‘

’-Thomas!’ Andy said, laughing as he felt his face heat up. 'Okay, so you’ve seen my embarrassing baby pictures - I’ve seen your college ones.’

Thomas bit his lip. ‘…Crap.’

'Now, now, none of that language in-front of Davey, Thomas…’ Andy said, still laughing. 'I must say though, you really rocked that moustache back in the day.’

Thomas pretended to scowl at his husband, but couldn’t keep it up for very long. He kissed Andy, eyes closing at the sensation, before both of their attentions returned to the baby in Andy’s arms.

'I wonder if he’ll have curls,’ Thomas whispered after a while.

'Do curls run in your family? I know they don’t in Daisy’s.’

'No, they don’t. Dammit. He might not end up having them…’

Andy rolled his eyes. ‘You really like curly hair, don’t you? Well, if he doesn’t, he’ll have the best damn cheekbones in town. He’ll be fighting the girls and boys off with a stick,’ Andy said.

'Woah, too soon to be thinking about that,’ Thomas said with a shocked smile. 'He’s so tiny… It’s hard to imagine him as some kind of adolescent heartthrob. To be honest, I’m glad we don’t have to deal with that so soon. Being a teenager’s so stressful… I say we make these moments count.’

'He’s lovely… He’s just… He’s so sweet, a-and innocent and, oh, Thomas, I don’t want anything to end up happening to him,’ Andy said before he could stop himself.

'H-He’ll be alright,’ Thomas said.

'And how do you know?’

'Because he has us, Andy. He has me, you, Daisy, Eddie, Dorothy, your parents… And loads of others. So many people to love him. He’s going to grow up with so much love. And that’s what matters, that’s what counts.’

'I don’t know how you can talk so well when you’re so tired. I can barely think anymore.’

'Hhmm. Well. Maybe being a father brings out the best in me,’ Thomas said, voice breaking a little again.

'I think it does, Thomas,’ Andy said, pressing his lips to Thomas’ once more.


End file.
